7 Years in Business – What I’ve Learned & Wish I Knew When I Started
I have loved every moment of being an Event Planner. That’s not to say that I’ve been in love with every moment. There have been times where I’ve just wanted to walk away and take a break. Some great examples? When a guest yelled in my face for taking a seat in a place she didn’t like, another yelling to bring whiskey to his table (because the bar closed and he wasn’t happy), or a groomsmen saying derogatory things to myself and my staff.
There are moments like this that really make you angry…make you wonder if it’s all worth it.
For me, in those moments there are two choices:
1)Work past it – be the strong, confident business owner that I am
or 2) Sink back and think that I have no idea what I’m doing.
I’ve gone to both places and I’ll tell you, the first one works better.
Every moment of being an Event Planner I have loved. But just like people — you can love them, but not always like them — I don’t always like being an Event Planner.
Take today as an example. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to put real pants on and I sure didn’t want to work. I wanted to lay on the couch surrounded by pillows, buried in layer upon layer of fuzzy blankets and binge watch Netflix. Nothing bad had happened the day before. No big stressful work moment. I just simply didn’t want to do it. I didn’t want to plan, design, or create today. And that’s ok.
There are many things that I’ve learned in the past 13 years of being in events, and the past 7 years of running my own business. I could go on and on (maybe a tea date instead? Any takers?) but I wanted to share with you some of the main things that I still need to focus on and keep myself in check with. I want to share with you the things that I’ve learned and wish I knew when I started.
#1 – Get Tough Skin. Fast.
There are a lot of crappy things that can happen to you when you start your own business. Rejection, budget issues, start up costs, finding great staff, website building, and rebuilding, and let’s not even get started on branding.
Then there’s the whole side of finding — and keeping — business. It’s not easy and if anyone ever told you it was, they were lying to you. We Event Planners (or those of us who work in the industry full time) love it. We love it to the core of ourselves, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it (8th most stressful job listed by Forbes — hello!). We don’t want to just tell you it’s hard as hell. That takes a lot more explaining, honesty, and time than to just tell you it’s great! No one should tell you it’s easy, but I understand why a lot do.
You’re going to get some nos, you’re going to get rejection, and you’re going to get people that say “What you’re charging is ridiculous” (I got that — right when I first started and was charging pennies compared to what I charge now!).
Remember – it’s not personal. And most of the time, it’s not you, it’s them. Always keep working on your craft, your pitch, your brand, but remember you’re doing this for a reason and when you’re first starting, the only one that’s likely going to stand up for you is you.
#2 – Be patient.
Things might take time. That’s ok. Things might get really great and then the next year it’s slow as molasses. That’s ok too. It’s not always the same.
Keep working at it and things will change. I hate the saying “It will get worse before it gets better,” but sometimes that’s the case. Sometimes it gets even slower before business picks up. Sometimes it gets even more nerve racking and that’s the push you need to really start blogging like you know you should have been all along, or to get you out there networking like you read in all those “How to get biz” articles.
If you keep building it, they will come! But the thing is, you need to keep building. Don’t just put a site up and sit there. You need to be active, always. Be patient but be active.
You will always have to “fight” for business.
There might be moments where things seem amazing, booking clients is easy, and you just have to pitch and do your job on the wedding day. The clients are great, the weddings are great, the money is great.
It’s a season. Just like summer changes to fall, so high seasons change to slow(er) ones.
I don’t mean to be intense, but things change and you have to be ready for that. Whether that’s with a great ad plan, or simply preparing emotionally. This is the ebb and flow of being an entrepreneur. You won’t always have the amazing year you had last year. You can’t expect each year to be as good as the last. Things change and that’s ok. You also need to remember that it might not be you. It might be that the market changed, brides changed, the economy took a dip, there are new planners in your market, and so on.
At the end of the day it comes down to being active, being relative and continuing to work at it. You will always be working at your business. You can’t bank on anything as an entrepreneur. It’s been said, and I’ll say it again: “Every day as a entrepreneur is like being unemployed.” You will always be working for your money, for your craft, and to bring in your ideal client.
I say all this not to scare you but for you to be ready for the changes that come with this sort of work. I never want anyone to get sad and discouraged when things slow down, and then give up. Just know that it happens to all of us, whether we’re new or in the business for a long time. We all experience this.
#3 – Take care of yourself. Always.
It doesn’t matter who tells you this, where you read it, how many times Oprah said it, or how often you see another one of those cute quotes on Instagram: If you don’t take of yourself, you only have yourself to blame and you’ll walk yourself right into burn out.
We all have wedding season and what we call “off season”. The way I look at it, off season is not off at all. It’s more of a “get all the mess together and focus on you a whole heck of a ton more” season.
Personally, I like to take days off in the middle of summer if I can (I take my “weekend” on a Wednesday). I love to garden. If that was taken away from me, then being an Event Planner isn’t worth it. There are some things that I’m willing to give up. For example, I’m more than happy to have most of my summer in winter through travel, but gardening is not one of those things.
Just like me, you need to set your boundaries and stick to them. You’re the only one who will. And most of the time, no one will know that you crossed your line except you (think of all those times you checked your emails on the weekend when you know it’s your time off, or you answered that email at 9pm when your office hours are clearly stated as 9am – 5pm).
If you want to do this full time, long term, or even on the side for many years, you need to stick to your boundaries, take care of yourself and make yourself and your personal life one of your top priorities.
#4 – Get yourself a business bestie and a circle of cheerleaders.
Don’t keep trying to do everything on your own. There are thousands and thousands out there also trying real hard, hustling with all they have, and thinking they’re on their own. Don’t waste time in this. You’ll drag yourself down and you’ll get stuck in self pity and well, frankly, sometimes you need someone else to help you out of the hole.
I have a business bestie. She’s the best thing that’s happened to my business (aside from starting it and succeeding — cause that’s pretty great!). If you have no one to talk to that really gets it, owning your own business doesn’t feel the same.
We’ve been BBs for about a year and a half now. That means I spent the first 3 1/2 years of my business just talking to whoever, whenever the conversation went there (which was almost never) about business and the struggles — the highs and lows. And really, do you want to talk to just anyone about those things? We all want people to think we’re doing amazing and that we’re super successful, but you need someone that you can just vent to and say “I’m stressed that I won’t make enough this year,” or “I finally got that feature I’ve been trying to get for years.” You need someone that gets you, can relate, encourage, and talk you off the ledge when you’re convinced you’ll be homeless and have to live in your car.
#5 – Don’t burn a bridge. Ever.
I’ve been plagiarized and stolen from, and no surprise there: it sucks. There’s nothing about it that feels good. I’ve also had vendors, brides, parents, and clients not treat me all that well. No part of that feels good, either.
When I was in school (PR & Marketing with a side of Event Management), we were often cautioned to “never burn a bridge.” Professor after professor told stories of employees who stole from them, co-workers who took their ideas and claimed them as their own, or times their work was plagiarized. They always followed up with stories of how they professionally dealt with these instances, and moved past them. They shared stories of how they encountered those people again in the future — a few of them ended up landing large deals because of the connection and the way they managed themselves and their dealings consistently the whole way through.
Like those professors, you never know when or how you might work with someone in the future. You never know how the situation might affect your business and reputation. One big thing you need to remember is that the event industry is only so big. In my market, it’s not that big at all. There’s about 1-3 degrees of separation between all of us, and you can find out a lot of info about others really quickly.
As a Wedding Planner, I have always been frustrated with the stereotype that we are bossy, bitchy, drama queens — the “anything to get ahead” sort of people. I despise this. I never want to be that sort of person, personally or professionally!
The hard truth is if someone wants to take something, they will; if someone wants to backstab, they will. Sometimes people want to get ahead so badly that they grey the lines and convince themselves that it’s ok. In my opinion, the motivation behind taking these actions doesn’t matter — stealing is wrong, and stealing from another creative? Well, shame on you!
But you know what, you have a choice: you can get over it, take the higher ground, and deal with it in grace. Or you can add to the negative stereotype.
About those bridges: you don’t have to want to use them. I have many bridges that I didn’t burn, even though I have no intentions of going near them, much less use them. In fact, I want to take a totally different route to get where I’m going. That’s something you’ll have to decide on what’s right for you and your company.
I’m huge on community, as a gardener, pet owner, Event Planner, Christian, and all the other areas of who I am. And if I can’t take steps to bring that part of who I am into my business, then it’s just not worth it to me.
#6 – Not everyone has to understand what you do.
It’s ok if your family doesn’t get it. If they think you only work on the weekend and sit on the couch the rest of the time. I mean, obviously you should try and explain it to them, but there will always be those people who just think you do fluff work and it’s not hard at all.
I remember the time I showed my dad one of my wedding budget spreadsheets. I could see the wheels turning as he took it all in. I don’t know if he was proud of me in that moment, but I was sure proud of me. I’ve worked hard for everything I have. I’ve created everything in my business: all the products, procedures, forms, templates, and my whole process and brand. Not everyone will get that. You can’t talk business with everyone.
I don’t let people demean what I do and I will gracefully correct someone if they’re unkind or being ignorant (if the mood is right), but you know, who cares? I can say that I built something from scratch and that I make a lot of money doing what I love. I’m proud of what I’ve built, and what I’m still building, and it really doesn’t matter if people don’t get it. The proof is in the pudding which is enough comfort and encouragement for me.
It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.
Being an Event Planner is not all too easy. I love it though, and I’m sticking around. I hoping for another 5 years, and then another 5 years after that, and then maybe another 5 years after that.
I’m always learning new things – better ways to do my work and better ways to just be a boss and business owner.
Don’t ever let yourself stop moving or growing in what you do. You’ll either start hating it, get bored, or burn out. Or worse – all three.
The beauty of what we do each day is that we get to pick. We make the choices. You can decide each day what your work will look like, how you will make it happen, the time you want to put into it (whether that’s full time or on the side) and the people you surround yourself with.
Be proud of what you have – big or small. New business or in it for years.
I get to wake up every day, even on the days when I don’t want to, and do what I love. And I can do it in my sweatpants, buried under layers of fluffy blankets if I want to.
