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What All Wedding Guests Wish You’d Stop Doing
As you’re planning your wedding you might be like a lot of our clients and are asking yourself “What can I do to make this less like every other wedding?”, “What are the things I should not do at my wedding?”, or “How can I make this more fun for everyone?”. Great questions and we’re glad you’re asking them. And your wedding guests will be too.
We’re put together this post on a few things some of your friends – or family – might not want to tell you but what all wedding guests wish you’d stop doing.
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Place Cards
Guests expect you to pick their table but to pick their seat too? No only is this hard on you – it’s that much more work – your guests might just want to pick who they get to sit beside. Help everyone out and just assign their table, not their seat too. And really, they usually move themselves around anyways.
40 minutes of speeches, all at once.
Speeches are a wedding must. You’re being celebrated, so let people show their love. But you don’t need to have them be long, or all at once. Mix it up, put your speeches in between courses, or get your parents or wedding party, to work together on speeches. Not everyone is funny, and not everyone is amazing at speaking, so let them have it easy and just speak for a couple minutes or read a funny story or poem instead.
“Standard” wedding food
Everyone has had the meat and potatoes again and again and again. Switch it up a little. Have a salad bar. A mash potato bar, different food stations, or have a Chef come in and do the meal and put their own twist on the “standard” meal. Or, even better, serve a locally inspired meal from what’s traditional (and grows) in your area.
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Cake cutting in the middle of the party
For some reason cake cutting seems to get scheduled in the middle of the party. We all stop dancing to watch the cutting of the cake late at night. At ADE we don’t do that and think you shouldn’t either. Have your cake, eat it too, and make sure your guests know about it.
One thing we hear when talking about the cake is “Well no one ever eats it”. That’s right – because it’s not planned property! Plan it earlier in the night, plan it in between a speech, and make sure it gets cut and plan for your guests to come and grab anytime they like. See, not so hard right?
Cash Bar
Etiquette says your wedding is like a large dinner party. Do you ask your dinner guests to pay for the wine you put on the table or serve them? Nope, you don’t. So don’t ask at your wedding either. If cost is an issue (and we get it) have a reduced bar, pick more cost effective options, close it during dinner, but be good to your guests and don’t make them pay for your drinks.
A long gap between ceremony and reception
If you’re ceremony is in the city and guests have to drive to get to the reception a bit of a gap is a good thing. But if you’re leaving 4 hours in between where your guests have nothing to do they won’t be thrilled with you. They’re all dressed up and really aren’t going to go home (or can’t if they’re from out of town). They’ll go get a snack, go for coffee, but by the time the reception starts they’re likely ready to go home having been waiting around for the party. Plan a first look, photos before the wedding, and a late afternoon ceremony moving right into cocktail hour and the reception. Your guests will thank you for it.
Skip the Tosses
If you know you don’t have a lot of single friends that are 1) at the wedding and 2) are into this sort of attention just skip the bouquet and garter tosses. If it’s been your dream for life to do the bouquet toss (or both) simply get all the women on the dance floor and up the ante – offer a gift card to the spa for the women who catches the bouquet. It’s amazing what a little spa motivation can do.
No Food at Cocktail Hour
If you’re going to offer your guests liquor etiquette says food should go with it. If you’re going to have an hour (or longer!) cocktail hour offer the guest some food too. It doesn’t have to be a large amount – they will be having dinner soon – but be sure to offer something. If guests have been waiting around for the reception, there’s an hour cocktail hour, then about 30 minutes before dinner (after grand entrance, announcements, etc) they’ll be very grouchy without a little something. It’s often the #1 thing I notice during a cocktail hour – please looking around for the food and wondering if they missed it.
Personalized Party Favours
Ok, I might be one of the only ones out there that still gets SUPER excited about party favours but I know a lot of guests still like them too. But, and this is a bit but – DON’T make them personalized. Don’t get a carved bottle with your names and wedding date on it, or wine glasses, or anything for that matter. Get something practical that your guests will like, not just something that’s your taste. Party favours can be expensive so make sure you’re hitting the mark or just skip them all together. Great options are things that are edible. If you want to go homemade think of things like jam, honey, salsa, pickles, or chocolate bags, boxes, or something sweet. You could simply opted for a party favour table, like a take home plant, a candy bar, mini cocktail kits. Things that guests will use. If you’re going to do ‘grab your own’ style you really don’t need to have enough for each guest (unless it’s candy – people go crazy about sweets tables!). Go about 1/2 to 3/4 of the guest list.
Just have fun
At the end of the day this is your party, your wedding, and there will always be people that you can’t please. Try your best, make good choices, but just make sure when it comes to the wedding day you have fun. Pick the right help, high the right vendors, put good food and drink in place but make sure you are present on your wedding day.
