How to (Respectfully) Postpone Your Wedding

This is the last blog post I want to write but I figured it was time. As you know we’re still in the middle of a global pandemic. As we’re all staying home, staying safe, wearing our masks, only being with our household so many of you are still dreaming of your wedding this summer (or next year).

You’re likely in a state of “what if!?” and we feel you. We SO wish we could give you all the answers and share with you some crystal ball magic and tell you just when you’ll be about to have that 100 – 150 person wedding again. But we don’t have that answer.

Izabela Rachwal Photography / blog post

You might be a little unsure of if you should postpone or not.

If you’re not sure if that’s the right step for you and your partner we highly suggest reading this blog post first. We’ll wait.

Ok, so we’re making some assumptions that went into your decision to postpone:

You must have a 100 – 200 person wedding
You must have dancing at your wedding
Having an open bar and serve-yourself dessert table is a deal-breaker for you
You won’t have anyone having masks at your wedding
Someone is autoimmune compromised and you want them at the wedding no matter what
A lot of your family/friends don’t live in Canada and can’t travel here for the wedding

Ariana Tennyson Photography / blog post

Now you know. You’ve decided, what now?

The very first thing we suggest is you talk to your Wedding Planner. Do not leave them out of any of this. Let me say it again; do not leave them out of any of this! Even our clients with the smallest package we offer we want to know what’s going on and offer them support through this process. Don’t assume if you didn’t go with Full Planning we’re not here for you, and I’m pretty sure I can speak for all the other MB Planners out there on this one.

There are a lot of variables to consider when postponing and we’ll talk you through all of them.

Casey Nolin Photography / blog post

Talk to your vendors – all of them.

Send out a mass email. You can BCC all of them (here include your Planner again). It doesn’t have to be a big email. It just has to be to the point, have a call to action, and have a direction. Know that your vendors – given what’s going on in the world – will not be shocked to get this email.

Here’s an example of what you could say:

Subject line: Postponement – Your first and last names here – wedding date here

Hello our wonderful vendors,

We’re so sad that we’re sending this email to you.

It’s not a decision we’ve come to lightly but we have decided – for various reasons – we are postponing our put date here wedding.

We are planning to postpone to put year or season here and would like to ask you to send us over your put month/s here available dates.

We’re hoping to pick a new date within the next 2 weeks so we ask you to reply as soon as you’re able so we don’t leave all our vendors waiting long.

We’re so thankful to have you a part of our team and look forward to working with you in the future.

Be well,

Your name here

Simple, to the point, and all they have to do is reply with dates (for now).

Izabela Rachwal Photography / blog post

Now, wait.

I know, it’s annoying, but wait for them to reply. Two to three days is reasonable – as a lot of companies are low on staff right now – but beyond that start following-up.

Take some time to review your contracts.

There might be some postponement fees, which is normal, or some clauses that release you from contracts if you so choose. Most contracts do not entitle you to any payment refunds for postponements but do offer you the option of postponement within a certain time frame. Every vendor will have something a little different contractually so we suggest getting your contracts out and highlighting the parts you need to know about.

Khammy Phanthavong Photography / blog post

Start a spreadsheet

It can be a little tricky to keep track of all the open dates your vendors have. Start a spreadsheet with a few simple columns (rows down being their names):

- Did they reply?
  - If not: When did you follow-up
- What dates they have open (a column for each date)
- You picked a new date
  - Have they confirmed your new date?
- Do you have your new contact?
- Have you signed it and sent it back?

Reanne Berard Photography / blog post

Pick a new date – email your vendors

Now that you’ve narrowed it down to a new date send it out to all your vendors, confirm it with them one last time, and ask for a new contract.

We highly suggest you don’t just take an email as proof of moving over the date. You had contracts originally so there’s no reason they shouldn’t send a new one now.

Don’t consider your new wedding date confirmed and moved over until you have a new or updated contract.

Ariana Tennyson / blog post

Next, you go on with life for a while. No more wedding stuff.

That’s likely not what you expected to hear from us but that’s the best thing you can do for a while. If you’re postponing 6-12 months there’s likely not much you can do for a while. You could update your guest list, work on your vows, thank you speech, and invites (don’t send them out) but that’s about it.

I’m assuming you have all your vendors and they’re all moved over to your new date. If there are a few you haven’t booked at all yet just move your planning timeline to line up with your new date (which very likely will fall in line with the “don’t do any wedding planning” advice I’m giving here 🙂