What Wedding Planners Really Do For You (The Vendors!)
Alright, let’s all get along ok?
So I hear lots of stories about different vendors butting heads, Wedding Planner horror stories, people being too bossy, domineering, and not working as a team player.
Because of the nature of what we do it can be easy as an Event Planner to take our job too seriously. There is a lot of pressure on us because we take the heat if things don’t go right.
Or Planners can be known talk too much, explain too much; we are details people after all and are VERY passionate about it.
Sure, there’s a level of power that comes with being in charge
but as a person, Event Planner, and a woman, frankly, I’m in it to serve. It always sounds cliché and I always think it sounds like I’m trying to kiss butt, BUT I truly am in it for taking care of my clients, whether that’s a couple, or corporate clients, the vendors (how I can make their job easier), AND of course, the guests.
I don’t take being in charge lightly. I am the boss, but that doesn’t mean I need to be bossy. I hate horror stories, the defensive attitudes I get sometimes, and it’s clear it’s because someone works with a Wedding Planner that was just plain rude, or mean, or didn’t value the service that vendor was providing.
That’s never who we want to be, and of course, we have our moments like anyone else. Like when we overheat or are under a large amount of stress, but our goal is to always take care of vendors, be gracious, patient and, really it brings me so much joy to be able to take care of the team.
We’re a team, even just for one day
It probably sounds a little cheesy, but I view myself – and train my team the same – to think of ourselves as leaders. We are leading the day, leading the vendors and taking care of the team. That might mean taking the DJ a jug of water because they’ve got a long night ahead of them. Making sure each vendor has a meal, making sure the vendor table is close enough to the head table so the photographers and videographers can get shots easily and not miss those moments. Also to make sure that that vendor table eats a little sooner in the night so we’re not caught in between low-energy, scarfing down food, and trying to do our jobs.
Nobody wants a cranky vendor and it’s important to me that everyone is taken care of. We all have really long wedding seasons, and wedding days, so I want to see everyone happy and have longevity. The best wedding days – for us – are the wedding days where we spend hours laughing, happy, and are thankful for each other. Where we were truly functioning as a team.
“Amanda it’s only one day how can we possibly figure out how to function as a team that quickly?”
Yeah, great question! It can be tricky if you’ve never worked with us before to really know what it looks like to work with a Wedding Planner (and that team – cause with use they’re usually at least two staff at every wedding).
I can’t speak for other Wedding Planners, but I sure can speak for many in the industry that holds the same standard as us at Amanda Douglas Events do. So I’m gonna talk to that.
No, that’s not your job, that’s ours.
There’s a certain amount of overlap of things you might think as a vendor you’re responsible for but those are truly things that as the Wedding Planner we’re there to do and getting paid to do.
Couples, I’m going to talk to you for a minute.
Let’s talk about photography for a second. Of all vendors on the wedding day they generally get the brunt of it if there’s not a Planner. I totally feel for them; the amount of times we’ve had weddings where the photographer start doing something only to have us come in and say “Oh, you don’t need to talk to the DJ or the MC we’ve already let them know the timing”, “Just let us know when you’re ready with your lights and will go to the grand entrance” or, “Oh, no you don’t need to worry about that, the couple is ready they’re lined up, we’ll give you a five-minute warning when we’re all set to start – they’re coming through the tables and to the dance floor”. You get the idea.
I’ve heard story after story of photographers having to (really by default because no one else was there to do it) manage the day and facilitate the timing of things. You hired a photographer to do a very specific job: to catch the magical, wonderful, loving moments of you and your friends and family. The weight should never be on their shoulders to manage your timing, to keep your reception going, to cue your MC, or to cue your DJs. That’s what a Wedding Planners is for!
Don’t put this pressure on your photographer. It’s not what you’ve hired them for and you’re going to take their valued time, skill, and energy away from what you’ve hired them for.
It’s going to take you a minute to figure out Wedding Planners
Sure there’s definitely a learning curve when you’ve never worked with a Wedding Planner before. But know that here, on our team, we are here to serve you. There’s a lot of things that we do to really just take off stress. The biggest focus of my career and client relations or vendor relations is to take off stress. Again, another one of those cliché things that really just sounds like I’m trying to sell to you, but it is one of my biggest joys in life to see stress be taken off my clients and let them get on with the day to what it’s really about: love, happiness, thankfulness and, a forever bond between two lovers.
That carries over to seeing our vendors be able to truly just focus on what they’re there to do, to do their job, and not have to do our job too.
All right, let’s address it, yes we can be bossy.
But that’s never our intent. Our approach is to make sure that you have all the information you need, that we’ve communicated with you ahead of time, so that you feel fully supported. On our team what that looks like (for starters) is sending you a master itinerary the month before the wedding/event. That might seem like a lot but we offer one-page timelines too (for those that want something simpler).
BUT we want to make sure that you have all the bits and pieces needed to do your job. As a caterer that might mean knowing when you can arrive and set the tables, and working with install time so that the linen company, florist, caterers, rental companies, etc, can all flow together in their delivery times and so everything is working smoothly.
For a photographer or videographer, this might mean making sure we’ve incorporated enough drivetime between photo locations, or enough time for getting ready, or actually knowing how many hours the couple has booked you for so that we plan the day accordingly so that YOU can get all the shots that you want and you promise to the couple (we know, you don’t really promise certain shots to couples, but you all have a few in your head you really want, we know you do).
It’s really important for us to know this information so that we can serve you well and you’re not stressed at the end of the night thinking “Well I’m leaving now but they haven’t even started there thank you speech”. These are conversations we have with the couples and conversations we have with our vendors. We wanna make sure that their needs are covered. Late-night photos, nighttime photos, and twilight photos are also crazy important to us, and to most of our couples. We haven’t even talked about how important it is to you as a photographer or videographer yet. We know that 99% of photographers and videographers want to have this moment with their couples – we hear you, we’ve been listening, and we plan the wedding day accordingly.
Couples – listen up again, this is important for you!
We also know that if you don’t plan it properly into the reception it’s going to be this big weird gap in the schedule for your guests and the couple – you – is missing. We’ve talked to many vendors to know exactly how much time the average photographer and videographer wants for the session, and how it will work ideally in each location. These are things that we study, you might not know that you might just think we put whatever numbers on a paper, not true.
These are things we actually survey vendors for because we want to make sure what you want actually happens, and what’s best for you and timing works, and what’s best for your guests and the integrity of the reception and that good old atmosphere we want to protect.
That might look like the bar re-opening, or the dessert table opening and having a half an hour break/dessert buffet situation. These are things we focus on to take care of the team as a whole and the couple.
So, that brings us back to the bossy factor.
You might think that our itineraries are a bit intense, and think our timing is too precise. Yes, they are timed precisely, but that’s because we’re taking care of everybody, not just you and not just the couple. Everybody is considered and everyone’s needs are considered, so yes the timing is precise but know that we flex as needed.
That’s one thing that I think a lot of vendors assume about us: that we’re not flexible, that everything is our way, all the time. If truly something we time doesn’t work we adjust it. If you have a request when we send out the itinerary and it actually does work better for everyone we adjust the timing. Our way is not the only way, and that’s not something that we worry all that much about. If you’ve got a really great suggestion and it’s better than ours, yes fantastic! We’re always learning, always trying to adapt, and our clients have hired us to do just that. To be able to roll with the punches and serve them best. What that looks like is sometimes being the boss, keeping things to time, moving things along and, sometimes that looks like being humble and being excited for a better timed day.
Here’s how “flexibility” doesn’t work
One thing that doesn’t work very well is to just randomly disappear with a couple (“The lighting is perfect, I had to take them outside” meanwhile they’re missing their dinner), or just show up for a delivery or install whenever you think works best with your schedule and not communicating with us.
There are other vendors that rely on you, you’re not a Lone Ranger, and your actions strongly affect others. Everyone is working together as a team. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that when you’re a vendor that’s not there the whole day, like hairstyles and makeup artists, or cake designers. We set delivery times and getting ready timing very specifically with very specific buffers for other vendors to facilitate a really well functioning day. Sounds boring, I know, but it’s not about you and the other jobs you have. Right now, it’s all about this job. Each client’s day is special, personal, and sometimes we can lose sight of that.
Sh@! Happens
Please don’t go off script without talking to us, it doesn’t go well for anyone. Have a chat with us, also emergencies happen. We have had situations where fluke things have happened and the cake has been destroyed and needs to be remade. We’ll do whatever we can to delay the cake cutting, or to delay your delivery time. We will literally sneak you in the back door and get the cake wheeled out just in the nick of time if we have to.
These things happen, are we going to get mad at you? Nope. Because why? It’s one thing to perform badly consistently; we’ll have a chat, professionally talk through what we think can be done better next time. We’re all human but we do need to do a professional job. However, when you have a fluke strange circumstance that happens us getting mad does no good for anyone (this is not a reality show; that is not how we respond to mistakes). How would that serve you? That’s not the type of person I, Amanda, am. And that’s also not the type of company I run. Anger generally doesn’t solve anything and it’s sure not going to resolve the problem.
We Would Be Out of Work Without Each Other
So here’s the thing, none of us would really have a job if the others didn’t exist. You might think that’s a bit of dramatic thing to say but think about it. How would we all have weddings if there weren’t vendors to support the whole industry? We need each other. We need every vendor, big or small, 9-to-5ers, weekend warriors, long-time entrepreneurs, we need each other. And just because we maybe don’t work with that type of vendor very often doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be adaptable.
I get it, especially if you do this part-time, you might not get the opportunity to work with Wedding Planners very often. And that could be a bit of a different scenario too; sometimes you get the brunt of it and you’re used to having to be in charge. But trust me when I say, we are there for you, we are your support system, we’re your best friend on the wedding day.
If you look tired we’ll bring you water or if you say you need a sugar rush you better believe when we walk by the dessert table we’re gonna nab you a cupcake. I’m not trying to suck up to you, I’m not trying to be your best friend, for real, I’m trying to love on you and take care of you because it is something that truly brings me joy and something I truly feel is my job. And you know what, I am my own boss so I get to decide what that job looks like.
We Have Standards
Again, not every Wedding Planner is the same, but we do feel a certain standard should be there. So I ask, on behalf of all Wedding Planners, that you give us a chance, let us be a little bossy when we need to, but know that most of us come from a really great place of just wanted to take care of our clients and every vendor. Sometimes – for you – that might be giving up a little control that usually you have to have because we’re not there.
Cynthia Bettencourt Photography
Let Me Have it – I Want to Hear it
I encourage you to have a chat with us. If there’s something you wonder about when it comes to Wedding Planners, a situation you’ve come across that you’re really not sure how it should’ve gone; let’s have a chat!
If it’s not clear by now I’m a pretty open book, and I’d be happy to chat, go for tea, or have you over for tea, and talk it out. Sometimes you don’t totally even know what every vendor does, so you really can’t value them as you should. Send me a DM, shoot me an email, or leave a comment below.
Thank you, you’re my favourite and, here’s why
I just wanna take this opportunity to give a big ol’ thank you and shout out, to all the vendors that I get to work with day in and day out. Yes, like anyone I have my favourites, but I truly get to work with SO many vendors, meet so many wonderful people and, I just want to say thank you.
Thank you for being there for your couples, thank you for referring us, thank you for giving us a chance as Wedding Planners to lead you through the day and, thank you for your mad skills.
Getting to do this as a career and a passion is not something I take lightly and, I know without all of you, your big efforts, and generous hearts, our clients wouldn’t have the beautiful, magical, epic days they do. So thank you from the bottom of my heart (and from everyone on my team) for rockin’ it!
